Dammit! I'm a trainer not a doctor!

I Love My Job!

I can honestly say that I would be at work the next morning after having hit the lottery.  No fooling around.  I help people.  Our BodyBasics ( http://bodybasics.biz/ ) logo has a tag line "Move Better, Feel Better, Live Better.  It sounds tidy but it's really huge when I think about it.  

One of my favorite clients came to me 4-6 months ago and gave me the scare of my career.  I thought I'd quite possibly broken her after our first session only I couldn't imagine how. We did some very minimal stuff.  I was just laying the groundwork to getting her moving.  She'd been suffering from daily headaches and had shoulders and a neck that would have stifled a jackhammer.  We were basically working on proper posture, honestly, nothing that I would have suspected that could have even made her the slightest bit sore.  However,when she returned she'd said she'd been in agony and I couldn't even brush by her skin without it hurting her.  I'm not really sure why she had such  a dramatic reaction and it's never happened again but by the end of  even that session she walked out feeling better.  

She has continued to grow stronger and less stiff.  The headaches are gone and she no longer needs to see a neuromuscular therapist once or twice a week.  She's put in the hard work but I helped get her there. She's doing things now that she never would have attempted and that's what brought her in today completely wracked with pain.  It was her shoulder again and she gotten that way by climbing on a ladder and hefting big plastic containers onto a high shelf.  Score!  I say that because she felt strong enough to even attempt such a job.  Even more impressive when you know that she's 4 foot 11.  She has a husband who is over 6 feet tall but she was sure she could do this herself.  Stuff happens and her ergonomics were all off but I'm still counting this as a win.  

The job satisfaction comes in where she comes to ME and says,"you're the best "fixer" I know you'll get me out of this."  I panicked.  I felt like yelling, "Dammit! M! I'm a trainer not a doctor!"  No pressure.  When I gathered my wits, I fell back on basic anatomy, ferreted out the problem, used a few tricks in my toolbox that I've acquired over the years and actually did fix her.  All  the while, an intern and the new hire were looking on adding to my by now, massive ego.  I'm going to bask in the ego trip a while and savor the feeling of actually helping somebody.  I know that it will be short lived and I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.  

Can't Keep a Good Girl Down or a Bad One Either

Told ya my pity party would be short lived.  I spent most of today still in a funk.  Every Wednesday I go to see my trainer, Danny.  Yes, even trainers have trainers.  Like anyone else, we can sometimes lack perspective and the watchful, unbiased eye of a professional can be most useful.

During my session things just seemed to click.  I felt coordinated and in control.  He was praising me along the way that felt oh so good. I'm overly wrapped up in the need for his approval.  I finish a lift and immediately search his face for any traces of disappointment or the validation that I crave.

Danny kept a close eye on me careful to monitor my shakes.   The shakes are an outward sign of stress that will betray me every time.  I've learned how to hold onto myself and stand on one foot to make them a little less noticeable.  He asked me how I was doing and I quickly said, "fine:".  I was fired up and I wanted to keep going.  By now he knows his job is as much to rein me in as spur me on.  He made me hold out my hands and I was revealed as the liar I am.  We proceeded with the workout at a reasonable pace so as not to offend my nervous system.  He handles me like I would handle my clients.  He gives me the same well reasoned advice I would give my own clients.  I need him for his expertise but more so I need him to gently remind me that the rules do apply to me.

Yesterday, I was mourning the slow insidious advancement of my decline.  Today, I'm more optimistic and recommitted to the fight.  I'm going down swinging.  Literally.

What's Shaking?

Jan. 16, 2013

So I feel pretty sorry for myself today and thank goodness this doesn't happen very often or at least when it does, it's pretty short lived.  My bestie at work, my partner in crime (P.I.C.),  a beautiful and smart, loud and obnoxious, extremely wise for her age because she's been to re-hab, 24 year old snot, sees to it by giving me no slack and making darn sure I laugh along with her as she laughs at me.   I love her to death and she helps keep me almost sane.  Here's a sample of  our handiwork.

Anyway, I wasn't laughing today.  I cannot and will not ever be able to snatch a 35 pound kettlebell 100 times over my head in 5 minutes.  Most people don't even know what that means and not many people can do it either.  There are worse things in the world to be sure and I feel so stupid sometimes that I let stuff like this get to me.  The snatch test is a minimum requirement for an advanced kettlebell certification.  For those of you who are still wondering what the heck it is, this is a kettlebell.

A snatch is an overhead movement that requires strength, stamina, and finesse.

Observe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o8gECEjU9U  

I actually sat in front of my poor boss today during a meeting and cried about this.  Mostly I cried because I think the rules shouldn't apply to me.  I've never won an Olympic medal or broke the tape in the Boston marathon but I've been able to accomplish most things I've set out to do.  I'm not bragging.  I get things done it's who I am.  I don't have any special innate abilities other than a strong will and the willingness to work hard.  The thing that makes me so bitter is that Parkinson's disease trumps all of that.  My body will not cooperate with me and it's only going to get worse.

Cheery thoughts huh?  I'm not always so whiny, I promise. Well, if you're still reading and you decide to come back to tomorrow I think I will have bucked up a bit by then and I can fill you in on some of the back story like:

• how I used to be 230 pounds 
• how I ran 2 marathons and why
• why the only good part of this is that everywhere I go I'm told I'm too young to have this disease and  to somebody pushing 40 I'll take what I can get
• how I love my job as a personal trainer so much that I'd still go to work the day after hitting the lottery
• why I got a motorcycle 
• how I can agree to anything ahead of time including a ski trip just for parkies - you know you'll want to hear about a bunch of spazzoids on a ski slope!  

This blog can't and won't be all about Parkinson's Disease.  I've got too much else to say to let this completely define me.