I've Got a Resting Tremor.
There, I said it. Part of what made it a little difficult to diagnose me was the absence of a resting tremor. That and being only 37 years old. It used to be that I would only cog wheel or shake upon volitional movement. With my doctor's guidance and a little on my own, (sorry Dr. G.!) my medication has been adjusted over the past few months. My now near constant shakes aren't impacted by any combo that I've found so far. I've tried meditation and deep breathing which is so not my style but desperate times... It's mostly my fingers that twitch but it can be my leg too. I don't think it's too noticeable...yet.
The one "touchy feely" conversation that I couldn't escape during the parkie ski trip was with a wonderfully intellectual man, B. I enjoyed talking to him the whole week on a variety of subjects until he started getting real. He shared some of his fears, basically stated aloud the ones that we all contemplate. He got emotional. I became uncomfortable. Then it got worse and he started in with the probing personal questions. His soft voice still echoes in my head. "Is there ever a time when you forget you have Parkinson's?" Nope. Never. If I can't do something simple like brush my teeth.... If I'm doing something impressive like skiing in spite of it.... If I'm taking pills, seeing doctors, eating, writing, sitting watching t.v., reading, typing, running, biking, cooking, cleaning, or working I'm well aware. I'm constantly struggling or gauging my performance and sometimes celebrating my wins. But the thought, the awareness that something's wrong never leaves me. It's been two months since the question was asked and there hasn't been a minute that's gone by before nor since that the disease has escaped my mind.
